Your GTA IV Questions answered!

Since managing to obtain a legitimate copy of GTA IV on Friday, I've been getting all sorts of random messages from complete strangers on Xbox Live, who want to be my "friend".

...And many questions, too! I thought it would be a good Idea to answer a select handful here, so that no more of you cunts fucking harass me while I'm playing.

1. WHERE DID YOU DOWNLOAD IT?

I downloaded it on a special network outside of the internet, called "real life". I uploaded "money" into someone's hand and they downloaded a disk into mine.

2. HOW ARE YOU PLAYING GTA4?

With a joypad. Just a regular Xbox wireless one. I did try a Wiimote, but for some reason it didn't work.

3. HELP ME HELP ME, MY BROTHER'S AUNT'S DOG'S HOUSEMATE TOLD ME I'M GOIGN TO GET BANNED FROM XBOX LIVE FOR PLAYING IT EARLY OH HELP ME, HELP ME PLEASE! KTHXBYE!

Who do you think I am? Superman? Want me to fly around the world at super speed the wrong way and turn back time, maybe?

If your copy is an original, legitimate copy, there is nothing MS can do, and there would be hell to pay if they did. Whichever retailer who sold it to you may possibly get into a bit of hot water if someone reported them for breaking the release date, but you'll be fine. If you are dirty, filthy pirate scum... on the other hand, I have no sympathy. I hope Rockstar find you and cut your toes off.

Well this ones going to just FLY off the shelves...

SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDWAY OFFICES

Ed Boon: I've got it! finally I've thought of an Idea that will make me bigger than Jesus!

Midway Employee: What's that then?

Ed Boon: Remember that Street Fighter vs Marvel series of games our arch-enemies at Capcom did 10 years ago? Well, why don't WE make a Mortal Kombat game with DC characters!

Midway Employee: DC Characters? You're having a laugh. Marvel have been on a huge upturn of popularity in the last decade, whilst DC really... haven't. Especially in the cinema. The only Decent thing to come from them has been the new Batman movie.

Ed Boon: Batman is cool! And DARK! Just like the Mortal Kombat characters!

Midway Employee: And the others? Aquaman? He's just shit! And Superman is about as "dark" as snow... Anyway, how in fuck would you do a fatality on fucking Superman? He's nigh invulnerable, unless everyone else is wearing kryptonite gloves. Actually, come to think of it, I don't think Warner Brothers will be happy at all with any of their properties having their arms or spine removed.

Ed Boon: We don't need fatalities! Mortal Kombat wasn't about blood and gore, it's about my wonderful character designs and deep storyline!

Midway Employee: Are you on crack? All anyone cared about in MK was the fatalities. That was the only "hook" it had, and as soon as people got bored of that and realised the actual game wasn't that good, they just stopped playing our games. Lets face it, Street Fighter it's not.

Ed Boon: You're fired! I'm right! I'm always right! I'm the almighty ED BOON!

Fucking smelly loser

I've only gone and done it! after saying i would never ever EVER by another bloody MMO I have just non ironically, and with no hint of postmodernism, preordered Age of Conan. I am really annoyed with myself at the moment! Maybe its the madness of finally being the captain of my own ship, and on my own, and no one telling me i shouldn't be such a fucking idiot... I don't know! I will review it for you as I go I guess, and let you know how much fun it isn't - After Lord of the Rings online, you'd have thought I'd learn! but oooooh no... tosser.

PRESS T FOR TROUSERS - VIDEO SPECIAL!

See what I did there? I pressed 'T'!



FLAWLESS BALL RUN!

Don't forget to tell your friends to "PRESS T FOR TROUSERS" - maybe even add your own videos to Youtube! This could be the next "All your base's belong to me!"

Today is OFFICIAL "PRESS T FOR TROUSERS" DAY!

If you end up in a two on one Karate fight today, remember:

T = TROUSERS.

Holidays

Well summer is coming, so I have decided to look for somewhere to go on holiday, on my travels i saw this lovely poster for Wales, and I am thinking this year i might visit.

Click on the pic for a big view!

COMPETITION TIME - SPOT SPEIGHT

Hello reader, and welcome to Mentski.co.uk's competition time, this week SPOT SPEIGHT! its like wheres wally, can you see SMarts Mark Speight trying to score some drugs?

If you see him, draw a ring round him, and print out your pic and send it to...

Win some class A Drugs,

CBBC

London

LW1 IOD

a picture is worth a thousand words

There is nothing more i can say about this!

Mentski.co.uk - 6 YEARS AHEAD OF THE REST OF THE INTERNET!

I got "Dugg" today! For some stupid shit I did over 6 years ago!

No doubt this is the start of my glorious and meteoric rise to fame - Next week, maybe someone will stumble upon Noel Still Loves You, or maybe they'll dig really deep and unearth Hitlerdance.

As I cant think of any photos to add to this post, here's a video of Betty Boo.



Apologies on how shit the video is, not even flashing any leg in this one, but what can you do, eh?

Sad news

Mentski.co.uk will officially now close due to the said death of Mentski (52) who died peacefully in his sleep. I hope you can all bare with us at this sad time. He will be sadly missed.