The quest for more traffic.

Like every other person on the Internet, I await the day something I've "done" gains global recognition, allowing me to sell out and run all the way to the bank.

But of course, for this to "happen" - many more people will have to be reading... Many, many more.

It's come to my attention that the best way for me to gain more readers is to be controversial - otherwise known on the Internet as writing a load of flamebait.

I've been narrowing down my options, and have come up with the following onging articles I could write, see what you think!


1. AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 GAYS.

An 80 part series chronicalling famous gay people, rated in a Top Trumps style for campness, flamboyancy, "outness", etc.

Who it will offend: Gay people. probably... I will no doubt by accused of rampant homophobia, and not to mention receive a cease and desist letter from the Church of Scientology when I get to the Tom Cruise entry.


2. BEARD MANIA

An on going series about people with beards, rated in a Top Trumps style for bushiness, length, style, etc.

Who it will offend: Gay people. probably... they'll think I'm probably poking fun at the "bear" community, not to mention I'll receive a cease and desist letter from the Church of Scientology when I get to the Katie Holmes entry.

A Mohammad entry might also offend the odd Muslim, too.


3. THE BRING BACK BLACKFACE CAMPAIGN.

It wouldn't be the first time someone has called Me and my blog racist (true story, but not that amusing, so I'm not going into it), so I might as well go the whole hog.

Something for the weekend

okay, so i know it isn't strictly the weekend yet, but here, enjoy Betty Boo's thighs, and pretend they are wrapped arround any part of you you like. This update is for Mentski only really.

If you look REALLY HARD you can see knickerage.

Don't say i never do anything for you.

RIP the REAL Captain

Captain Birdseye (Yesterday)

Captain Birdseye is dead, the real one, not the fake one they tried to get on to make it look all "cool" and "street" this is the creepy old one who looked like he really would molest the cabin boy. Yarrrrrrrr! Tis a sad day for fans of fish fingers and beards and and hats, Mentski, HAT!! BEARD!!! Do i get a bonus for fish fingers?!?! this game is too hard.

My Betty Boo update #1

Doing the don't - Betty Boo (yesterday)

Apparently if you don't put a picture of Betty Boo on an update then no one will read it, Here i have found a nice pic of her dressed as a cowgirl, what WAS she thinking?!? that outfit is horrendous...

But at least theres a chance she might turn round and you'll get a flash of knickers.

My middle name is Whacky!!

Im favus and im grate (Yesterday)

Hello everyone! It looks like UK:R isn't the ONLY blog on the planet to bring in some much needed new blood so everyone can go, "Fuck me! this guy is shit!! why are you letting post on your blog?" well the truth is this, I have Mentski's children and he isn't getting them back out of the draw under my bed unless he lets me post my pointless crap on his website! I am a photoshop GOD you may remember me from Toaster porn, i did that! that was me, i was famous on the internet for 5 minutes! and I want my other 10. Also i did have a blog which started being about my RSI (which went away) and ended up slagging off all the people i work with. I have since discovered that when you do this, you can get fired - So I quickly deleted it.


I am going to be a media whore! I am going to write a funny ITV2 sketch show, and I'm going to fuck your mum, as soon as i can be bothered. I might even write a bit about some games or the popstar from the 80s I have a crush on! CAROL DECKER! she waaaaay hotter than Betty Boo.


See you around!!

IMPORTANT NOTICE

Due to what appears to be a incredible, plummeting decline in the quality of once great cynicism filled, pro-Sega blog, UK:Resistance, what with Mr Cutlack's self-admitted "selling out", and recent addition of PERSON CENSORED - be he fictional, or, god forbid, real.

(Not to mention any previous pie related antics, which may or may not have been a complete coincidence)

...Mentski.co.uk feel OBLIGED to set up a refuge, right here, right now, for the poor UK:R readers who feel outraged/cheated/downright sickened by recent events.



PERSON CENSORED's recent, quite unhumourous attempt at taking the piss out of Sega Bass Fishing also means I have lost all compulsion to finish a similar themed update that I was planning to put up today.

So I'm afraid I'm just going to upload a couple of pictures of what "could have been":



Here, for example, we have me picking out a lure - the humourously titled "Deep Crank" - Which sounds like a far better innuendo than anything in any OTHER Sega Bass Fishing themed blog posts we care to mention.



FISH! This one's HUGE! Etc.

Sorry, I can't be bothered thinking of something funny to say now. It's all rather depressing.




I was going to say something hilarious about Dreamcast piracy here... But alas, I was (albeit poorly) beaten to the punch there, too, with that Bittorrent comment.

This Week: Fake Sega ask the question...

Clicking on the button on dreamcast.com results in the following "answer"...



Yes, Fake Sega. I think you'll find a lot of people still own Dreamcasts. Thanks for asking.