A little known fact about my good self: I am one the worlds leading experts on "Homo Humerus" - the Common Clown.
In fact 5 years ago, I wrote a book on this close relative to the human race, compiling 7 years of research of clowns in captivity, and in the wild.
It sold 2 copies.
As nothing I ever do is destined to make any money, I have decided to release the contents of
"Now You're Clowning - The feeding habits, developmental needs, and mating rituals of the Common Clown" into the public domain.
To mark the occasion, I thought I'd kick things of by publishing some of the many "Clown Facts" found in the appendix of this book!
CLOWN FACT #976: Although clowns share 95% DNA with humans, and could breed with a human, there has never been a recorded instance of a human-clown crossbreed.
CLOWN FACT #977: Once a clown finds a female clown to mate with, they mate for life, female clowns are rarely seen outside their "nests", made from mud, leaves, and pages from The Beano.
CLOWN FACT #1031: Clowns have an irrational fear of sound under the frequency of 100Hz.
CLOWN FACT #1465: The skin secretions of the Clown (commonly referred to as it's "facepaint") is toxic to the touch for normal humans.
CLOWN FACT #1566: Despite claims to the contrary, Mimes
are not part of the Clown family. They are, in fact, just a bunch of cunts.
