Tribute to the smallest hand in showbiz, and new blog news!

DING, DONG, TEH BEADLE IS DEAD

Am I the only one that thinks that during the funeral, some copper with a dodgy looking fake beard is going to appear behind the grieving crowd with a microphone in his apparenly withered hand?

Anyway, some people may like to know that yet another of the people who what did a blog last year are back, you may remember rosetintedgamer, who wrote "The Wonderful World of Videogame Retail". An SFCesque rant from a guy who used to work in a certain purple-hued four letter high street chain.

Well, someone reported that one to his higher-ups, so he took it down... but now, hes an indie retailer, and doesn't give a fuck who he upsets, so he's back with Daddy Brown's Wonderland.

Go and give it a look, and give him a poke and tell him to write stuff.

Cunt of the year awards! 2008!

Some may say it may be a little too early in the year to have such a reward ceremony, but, I think it's justified.

This years "Cunt of the Year" award goes to:

DJ ATOMIKA

I remember when Criterion were a nice little UK-based software team, making a little tribute to Outrun they liked to call "Burnout", until EA bought the fuck out of them and turned the franchise into what appears to be focus-group inspired hell.

Main gripe being the fictional smug prick with a microphone, "DJ Atomika", or as I like to call him, "DJ Turn this annoying fucker off the second I start the game".

Suffice to say, despite his pleas in Burnout Paradise, I will not be emailing "him" (IE: some poor office gopher who has to read emails from a bunch of adolescent, racist Xbox Live kiddies), nor will I be reading his blog.

And while I'm at it, a little note to Alex Ward:

No matter how much you chuck your toys out of the pram when people criticise you, your game needs a fucking retry option. PERIOD.

"Well, you can go anywhere and do anything in any order - despite talking about this on all of our podcasts (when not too distracted by all the bad spelling in all of the letters we receive) it seems that few people really understand this yet. And to be honest, why should they, when the game's not out yet!"

Yes, because you're the first fucking game with a sandbox design... Ohhh, wait, you aren't. The GTA series, Tony Hawk games, and yes, Test Drive Unlimited, all allow you to move around the map to hearts desire. But once you are locked into attempting a mission/challenge/race/whatever, THEY FUCKING ALLOW YOU TO RETRY.

Admittedly, yes, you would have to have loading screens. But apparently, the general gaming public (you know, the ones that buy the games, allowing EA to pay your wages) aren't as up their own arse about that aspect as you seem to be.

Burnout Paradise Review:

If it had retry: 9/10

Without retry, and the fact Alex Ward is a big-headed cunt: 2/10

Is the videogame market heading for a 1982 style crash?

Lets look at the facts:

• A console with outside-market appeal, selling like hotcakes.
• The majority of titles for said console being generic crap or poor quality, just to cash in on the fad.
• Games being rushed out before they are finished.
• Games being over-hyped only to turn out to be severely lacking in quality upon release.
• Blatant fucking lying by game and hardware developers alike.
  
• Developers gaining a stupidly high opinion of themselves, and moaning about the criticisms of the gaming public, who, in the end of the day, pay their fucking wages.

As a player of games since the very early 80's, I'm starting to find it very, very hard to justify buying any of the shit that's getting pushed out now, and I know I'm not alone.

...and if so-called "hardcore" gamers are beginning to feel that way, who's going to keep the market going when those "blue ocean", fad-following, Wii buyers realise what they are playing, for the most part, is a sack of shit, and chuck their consoles in the bin?

Cathy Dennis Update.

No, not really. but I'm really having a hard time thinking of things to put up here again.

So, instead, here is a "cut out and keep" poster of ThunderCats favourite, Lion-O Richie.

Lots of lovely Dr Alban info!

• Dr Alban is actually a dentist.
• He is surprisingly still making records.
• Sadly, None of his other records were used in Tampax adverts.
• Although he almost changed his name to "Dr Alpen" so he could advertise the famous brand of muesli (lie).

On with the show!



Next update on crap late 80's/early 90's music blog: Cathy "10%" Dennis!

Everybody, shake your stuff!

The Rebel's here, and he's "Street Tuff"!

OK, taking a page out of the SFC book (and now, SFE book, welcome back, by the way, the "blogosphere" hasn't been the same without you), I am posting a random youtube video.

There's method to my madness, you know.

...Well OK, there isn't, but it's the Rebel MC! Rough like a ninja, stinging like a bee! Is he a yankee? No, he's a Londoner! And he may well become yet another comedy target in the coming months. Along with Dr Alban, perhaps. Remember him?

Stuff I thought of doing in a new update, but couldn't be arsed.

1. Creating a parody character called "WankyBanjos"
2. Doing a piss take version of Zorg's craptacular "Elsewhere On The Network" posts.
3. Another fucking Betty Boo update.
4. Another fucking Street Fighter update
5. Something incredibly original that takes off so surprisingly that I get to sell out, and laugh my way to the bank.

C is for Cookie, thats good enough for me.

Ok, this little gem of a screenshot turned up in the middle of Famitsu's coverage of SF IV, By mixing two loves of my life, Muppets and Street Fighter, this game can be utter shit (...lets face it, it probably will be), and I won't care.

A little heads up info - mentski.co.uk relocation.

I am currently setting up a new hosting account for Mentski.co.uk, so as of sometime tonight, or tomorrow, the new news feed will be relocated HERE for the Atom feed and HERE for RSS.

Most of the stuff currently on snoochdesigns.co.uk will be removed and will (hopefully) forward you to Mentski.co.uk

Not that anyone cares.

I'm a weak willed fool.

Just like my Mega Drive, Saturn, Dreamcast, and Xbox before it...

Despite my comments to Mariomark in the last article, despite the fact I have no suitable way of using it in front of a TV, despite the fact my skills with such device has atrophied to the point I'm a squillion times better with a pad, despite the fact it will just end up gathering dust just like ALL the others...

I'VE BOUGHT ANOTHER FUCKING ARCADE STICK.



WHAT IN FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?

Mentski's belated obligatory Street Fighter IV bit.

OK, so I'm just going to assume you've all seen the videos by now, so I'm not going to harp on about them.

The video above, is a tribute to the awesome wonder of the Shin-Shoryuken.

The new videos had a distinct lack of Shin-Shoryuken.

I have a fever, and the only prescription is Shin-Shoryuken.

From now on, we at Mentski Towers (well, ok, me) will be on 24/7 Shin-Shoryuken watch. We will not sleep until we see evidence that the Shin-Shoryuken is present in Street Fighter IV.

We will kill to make it happen, and were not talking about that shit one in the Alpha series, either.

Yet another stupid crusade

Today, I saw THIS on youtube.

WHO DOES THIS WHORE THINK SHE IS?

She's not Betty! She's certainly not as pretty!

...and her raps are rubbish, and not full of the wonderful smiley-happy-time of the real Betty.

LET LOOSE THE DOGS.