Does anyone read this anymore?
…Or will I be wasting my time If I started updating it more regularly again?
FEEDBACK, PEOPLE. FEEDBACK.
HAPPY CHOCOLATE DAY!
Don’t forget that the son of the DRAGON LORD died to give you chocolate eggs! Actually, he did it as a trick to impress a whore, but you know history!
…And as he was nailed on the cross, HEYZEUS, SON OF THE DRAGON LORD TROTH, COMMANDED: “CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME, C.R.E.A.M. GET THE MONEY, DOLLAR DOLLAR BILL, Y’ALL”.
On the third day, a man dressed in an ill fitting rabbit costume went to visit Heyzeus’ tomb only to find his body GONE! A solitary choccy egg remained, the rabbit-man thought… I WILL STEAL THIS SHIZZLE.
As the rabbit-man left the tomb, Heyzeus appeared! Swooping down from the sky on THE MIGHTY DRAGON “MACK-DADDY G” – And set the rabbit AFLAME! AND HOT CHOCOLATE WAS BORN.
As Heyzeus flew, he came across a tribe of cannibals, dancing around a woman in a cooking pot. He asked them why, the cannibals replied “Isn’t it obvious, we are going to EATS ‘ER!”. Heyzeus landed and joined them for the meal. He particularly liked eating the thigh.
After the meal was over, Heyzeus entertained the cannibals with the GREATEST TURNTABLIST DJ SET EVER. The scratching was tight, and the beats were fr-fr-FR-FRESHHHH. The cannibals were pleased, and made Heyzeus KING OF THE TRIBE!
The party lasted all night, most of the next day, and most of the next night too. By the next morning, the party had started to die down. Then… A GIANT UFO APPEARED, and hovered over the tribe. It had arrived to bring Heyzeus back to his daddy!
HEYZEUS, IT IS TIME TO GO! The aliens declared. Heyzeus walked up to UMBOOGOO, MASTER OF CEREMONIES, and presented him with a GIANT CLOCK to wear around his neck. “Do you like it?”, Heyzeus asked. “YEEEEHHHH BOOOOYYYYY” Umboogoo replied.
…And Heyzeus stepped into the light, and rose into the spaceship. As he rose, he said one last thing… “REMEMBER ME, BITCHES!”.
And we do, on this day, every year! THE END!