Dear Capcom,
I know the last “popular” SF game was, according to you, Super SFII Turbo… but this all seems like a giant step fucking backwards, only IN 3D!
You just know that they’ll end up having to bring in multiple updates after the first “rushed” release, because everyone will be complaining that certain elements they are now used to post-SFII have been COMPLETELY OMITTED.
A little known fact about my good self: I am one the worlds leading experts on “Homo Humerus” – the Common Clown.
In fact 5 years ago, I wrote a book on this close relative to the human race, compiling 7 years of research of clowns in captivity, and in the wild.
It sold 2 copies.
As nothing I ever do is destined to make any money, I have decided to release the contents of “Now You’re Clowning – The feeding habits, developmental needs, and mating rituals of the Common Clown” into the public domain.
To mark the occasion, I thought I’d kick things of by publishing some of the many “Clown Facts” found in the appendix of this book!
CLOWN FACT #976: Although clowns share 95% DNA with humans, and could breed with a human, there has never been a recorded instance of a human-clown crossbreed.
CLOWN FACT #977: Once a clown finds a female clown to mate with, they mate for life, female clowns are rarely seen outside their “nests”, made from mud, leaves, and pages from The Beano.
CLOWN FACT #1031: Clowns have an irrational fear of sound under the frequency of 100Hz.
CLOWN FACT #1465: The skin secretions of the Clown (commonly referred to as it’s “facepaint”) is toxic to the touch for normal humans.
CLOWN FACT #1566: Despite claims to the contrary, Mimes are not part of the Clown family. They are, in fact, just a bunch of cunts.
“Greetings, pop-pickers!”
Well, OK… Not pop: Searches.
As mentioned in my last post, along with finally getting my domain hosted on a half decent server, the company gave me a neat bunch of utilities allowing to see what exactly people are searching for when they stumble upon my shoddy piece of web.
Want to know yourself? Well put on you favourite era “Top of the Pops” theme, and have a look at this little list, listed by popularity!
Things we can gain from this list -
In addition to that, I mentioned in a previous post that there was a “method to my madness” – well, it wasn’t a very good method, but on this very blog there is now an extra special secret message!
Can you see it?