Cunt of the year awards! 2008!
Some may say it may be a little too early in the year to have such a reward ceremony, but, I think it's justified.
This years "Cunt of the Year" award goes to:
DJ ATOMIKA
I remember when Criterion were a nice little UK-based software team, making a little tribute to Outrun they liked to call "Burnout", until EA bought the fuck out of them and turned the franchise into what appears to be focus-group inspired hell.
Main gripe being the fictional smug prick with a microphone, "DJ Atomika", or as I like to call him, "DJ Turn this annoying fucker off the second I start the game".
Suffice to say, despite his pleas in Burnout Paradise, I will not be emailing "him" (IE: some poor office gopher who has to read emails from a bunch of adolescent, racist Xbox Live kiddies), nor will I be reading his blog.
And while I'm at it, a little note to Alex Ward:
No matter how much you chuck your toys out of the pram when people criticise you, your game needs a fucking retry option. PERIOD.
"Well, you can go anywhere and do anything in any order - despite talking about this on all of our podcasts (when not too distracted by all the bad spelling in all of the letters we receive) it seems that few people really understand this yet. And to be honest, why should they, when the game's not out yet!"
Yes, because you're the first fucking game with a sandbox design... Ohhh, wait, you aren't. The GTA series, Tony Hawk games, and yes, Test Drive Unlimited, all allow you to move around the map to hearts desire. But once you are locked into attempting a mission/challenge/race/whatever, THEY FUCKING ALLOW YOU TO RETRY.
Admittedly, yes, you would have to have loading screens. But apparently, the general gaming public (you know, the ones that buy the games, allowing EA to pay your wages) aren't as up their own arse about that aspect as you seem to be.
Burnout Paradise Review:
If it had retry: 9/10
Without retry, and the fact Alex Ward is a big-headed cunt: 2/10
This years "Cunt of the Year" award goes to:
DJ ATOMIKA
I remember when Criterion were a nice little UK-based software team, making a little tribute to Outrun they liked to call "Burnout", until EA bought the fuck out of them and turned the franchise into what appears to be focus-group inspired hell.
Main gripe being the fictional smug prick with a microphone, "DJ Atomika", or as I like to call him, "DJ Turn this annoying fucker off the second I start the game".
Suffice to say, despite his pleas in Burnout Paradise, I will not be emailing "him" (IE: some poor office gopher who has to read emails from a bunch of adolescent, racist Xbox Live kiddies), nor will I be reading his blog.
And while I'm at it, a little note to Alex Ward:
No matter how much you chuck your toys out of the pram when people criticise you, your game needs a fucking retry option. PERIOD.
"Well, you can go anywhere and do anything in any order - despite talking about this on all of our podcasts (when not too distracted by all the bad spelling in all of the letters we receive) it seems that few people really understand this yet. And to be honest, why should they, when the game's not out yet!"
Yes, because you're the first fucking game with a sandbox design... Ohhh, wait, you aren't. The GTA series, Tony Hawk games, and yes, Test Drive Unlimited, all allow you to move around the map to hearts desire. But once you are locked into attempting a mission/challenge/race/whatever, THEY FUCKING ALLOW YOU TO RETRY.
Admittedly, yes, you would have to have loading screens. But apparently, the general gaming public (you know, the ones that buy the games, allowing EA to pay your wages) aren't as up their own arse about that aspect as you seem to be.
Burnout Paradise Review:
If it had retry: 9/10
Without retry, and the fact Alex Ward is a big-headed cunt: 2/10


2 Comments:
Alex Ward wrote:
"Well, you can go anywhere and do anything in any order - despite talking about this on all of our podcasts (when not too distracted by all the bad spelling in all of the letters we receive) it seems that few people really understand this yet. And to be honest, why should they, when the game's not out yet!"
He even ironically did some bad grammar himself by puttng a '!' on the end of his sentence instead of an '?'
The stupid cock!
I refuse to buy ANYTHING that has an EA logo on it.
Did you know that Alex Ward IS DJ Atomika?
True, that. 100%.
Post a Comment
<< Home